do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize