I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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