He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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