is your mom at the bar?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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