: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
