That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
