I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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