this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
