No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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