Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
