ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
