Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize