Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
