she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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