I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
