First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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