last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
