what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
