so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
