The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
