hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
