My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
