yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
