I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
