I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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