Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I understand Curling. That high.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
