You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
