I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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