I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
