Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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