kristin has been a bad kristin
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize