i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
