Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
birth control should be required to get into college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize