This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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