So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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