you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
