i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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