If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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