You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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