Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
