From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
