you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
