hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
