ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
