Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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