i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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