He disabled his match.com account in front of me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is Oprah even human
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Floor bacon is actually really good
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
