Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
