i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
