Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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