New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
