One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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