We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
