it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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