Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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