remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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