I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
