there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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