She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
