im about as happy as oj after his trial
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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