You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
