if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
True college students do jello shots in the library
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
