you guys were way drunker than both of me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize