my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
