Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
