please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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