It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
