I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize