every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The best revenge is premature balding
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
