Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize