i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
