omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
