Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
